Gilmore Girls: Who Rory Will End Up With

I’ve tried. I really have. I have wanted to write for days, but I have written multiple times about how people can live like decent human beings and about deep thoughts that seem off point when America is just unable to pull it’s act together.

So tonight I write. I just will write about something that makes me happy. Gilmore Girls.

And also how I’m right about all my thoughts about Gilmore Girls as they apply to Rory’s love life. Being right also makes me happy.

We are all waiting anxiously for Gilmore Girls: A Year In The Life to be released on Netflix. We’ve crammed the whole series in as fast as we can review and then stopped, looked up and wondered, “How many more times can I binge watch the series before GG:AYITL releases?” The answer? A billion. It is taking fooooorever for this thing to come out.

Now be warned. There will be some mentions below of things like how many episodes so and so will appear in, basic stuff you are able to read on imdb, but if that’s going to ruin your life, by all means, buck up. It’s not that big of a deal. Oh wait, I mean, by all means don’t read it. I totally get the super secretive controlled type of people who can manage life without late night rabbit hole diving through behind the scenes pics posted by minor characters to their instagram accounts….or I don’t. Whatever.

      Here it is. Here is who Rory will end up with.

       NOT LOGAN. ANYONE EXCEPT LOGAN.

     Logan is literally the worst. LITERALLY. There is no one worse on that show and likely no one worse that I have ever met in my life. Now, I can be ok saying that because he’s a pretend person! I really like pretty much everyone on the face of the Earth except this fictitious character. (Pretty much everyone…pretty much.)

Rory was insecure, unstable, anxious, unable to focus on her goals, unable to be forthcoming with her mom, not transitioning into adulthood or discovering who she was as this cool young Yale student who was head of the paper and had a bright future stretching out in front of her. The only time Rory stopped being intolerable and insufferable during the Logan years was when he was in England or away on business. She made arty friends and paid attention to the ones she already had. She made adult choices. She could think of solutions to problems without panic attacks.

I have long wished she could have been with Dean, however when I rewatch the show each time I go, “Oh yeah, the adultery thing. And the second attempt after the adultery thing. Nooooooooo.” I’ve also struggled with the idea of her with Jess because, well, he was such a punk as a teen. But then this last time I rewatched it, there he was, writing a book and being all cool and functional. So maybe Jess.

But I got on IMDB tonight and found the Dean is only in 1 of the 4 episodes and Jess is only in 3 of the episodes, but there is Logan. In all 4. This is unacceptable.

The only way this is acceptable is if he gets punched in the face, just like when Luke decked Christopher in the face. I will see this as trade off for having to look at him in each episode. Dean can punch him in the first and Jess in the other three. Or Jess can punch him solo in the first two episodes, Dean and Jess can join together and punch him in the third episode and in the final 4th episode Rory can punch him.

While we’re at it, Robert Grimauldi, who Rory went out with once, will be in one episode! So, perhaps he could take a swing at Logan as well. And there is a mystery character Francis! He could be for Rory! Or the 40 something year old Alejandro! He could be for Rory! Or Emily!

But not Lorelai, because they better not mess around with that. Luke + Lorelai = Right. She’s done with the obnoxious searching years. We need a year of stability in that relationship. (Although, in the few pics you see of the show, there are no rings on either of those two, despite them sitting next to each other at a town meeting and holding hands walking down the street. New definitions of lets not get married-ness? Come on. Wedding. Ring. Luke. Lorelai.)

Anyway I have solved the mystery of who Rory will end up with. You’re welcome. Now when you watch it you can just think “Sarah was so right about this and I’m so glad Rory is not going to be with that slimy weasel Logan.”

*Obviously I do not advocate punching any one in the face in real life. Logan is a pretend person. We don’t punch real people. It’s not decent.

*Obviously I didn’t take the picture at the top of this post. Please no one sue me for using it.

*Feel free to comment about how right I am.

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