Two Tuesdays ago I spent the day wondering if I’d developed an allergy to spaghetti squash or was coming down with a wicked stomach bug. I kept thinking “This is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.” Later that evening when I was consulting Dr. Google about the constant contraction across my middle, I read that the first thing people with appendicitis tell their doctor is “This is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”
Oh…well dang. I JUST said that.
So I went in to the hospital and they cut my appendix out.
I don’t know if you all know, but your appendix is not just some random organ floating somewhere in your midsection, it is a disgusting lump that looks like a withered hot dog attached to your colon that is a leftover from when we used to eat raw meat and pine cones. We don’t need it anymore because we eat chicken nuggets and spaghettios like decent human beings with fire.
I did not want appendicitis. I did not approve this event in my life. I was not given anything to sign off on this experience.
But here is the deep soul truth I learned from this experience.
Except for what an appendix really is, which I never wanted to know in the first place.
Now, I’m pretty good at attaching meaning to some pretty meaningless stuff. Give me any old bit of dirt and lint and I’ll give you a metaphor for life. Give me a banana and I’ll explain the trinity. But not only have I not learned anything from this experience, I’m not even INTERESTED in learning anything from this.
I’m put out. I’m grossed out. I wish it never happened.
In Corinthians Paul says that now we know in part, but someday we’ll know all the answers, that God will let us in on all the best knowledge of stuff. When that day comes, I will still be working out whether or not it will be rude of me to ask God to spare me the knowledge of a deep meaning for appendicitis.